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A woman struggling with grief after several miscarriages has revealed how a friend turned on her for giving away her baby news ahead of a gender reveal party. 

The woman, 30, turned to US social website Reddit‘s Am I the a*****e forum to explain that a pregnant friend asked her to be the one to make the announcement at her gender reveal party, where she will also surprise guests with the news that she’s having twins. 

On hearing this, the woman became ’emotional’ because one of her pregnancy losses was twins, and she decided to tell her husband so it won’t be a shock to him on the day. 

But now her friend is angry with her for giving away the secret ahead of the party.  


Explaining the background, the woman said that there are three couples in her friendship group – and they are all aware of her two miscarriages – one at 19 weeks and most recently, at 9 weeks. 

A woman told Reddit she’s been accused of ruining a friend’s gender reveal by telling her own husband that the woman is expecting twins (stock image)  

One unnamed woman, 30, took her guilt to Reddit ‘s Am I the a**hole thread after telling her husband, 37, who has suffered several miscarriages with her, of their friends’ big news before the formal announcement – in a bid to ease his trauma

‘We suffered many miscarriages throughout our 6.5 years of marriage,’ she said. ‘

‘First one was in 2017 at 19 weeks, second in 2020 with twins at 8 weeks and 14 weeks and third one on March of this year at 9 weeks. 

‘We informed all our friends through text that we were miscarrying and we need some time to heal.’ 

She said that her pregnant friend is 14 weeks along, and wants her to make the gender announcement at her party that’s  coming up at the end of October. 

She added: ‘They shared they are having twins yesterday and want me keep it a secret till gender reveal. It hit hard and made me emotional. I told my husband on the way home that they were having twins. I don’t want him to get startled at the gender reveal day.’

However, her friends didn’t seem to understand why she’d done this when she mentioned it to them. 

‘They were accusing me of ruining their surprise and said I didn’t consider their feelings,’ she explained.  

People rushed to the comments to offer support, with one writing: ‘First, I’m so sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you and your husband.

‘They’ve shown a callous disregard for your feelings.’

Another added: ‘Telling just your spouse is not “ruining” the surprise for anyone but your spouse, and they should know why this wouldn’t necessarily be a happy surprise for him. 

‘A little flexibility on their part to ensure you and your husband are in the right headspace is not too much to ask’. 

Another chimed in: ‘Given the history, if they can’t understand how hard it is for you and your husband to keep putting on the happy face and taking responsibility for their parties, and that you might lean on each other for support, then they shouldn’t have asked you for your help or told you anything. 

‘It’s just cruel to rub this in your face. You were fine to tell your husband – I wouldn’t have told them that though – but hindsight has 20/20 vision – what is done is done’.

However, one Redditor said that the woman needed to ‘learn to set boundaries and not take people’s babies or plan their parties if they don’t want to’. 

And another bluntly said that they don’t know why she’s still friends with the couple and said she should consider finding new people to hang out with. 

‘I don’t know why you told them anything. They’re not being considerate of you,’ they wrote.

‘Also, stop letting them walk all over you.’ 


Content source – www.soundhealthandlastingwealth.com

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